


You'll Help Me Find My Way

by BB_Boule



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Dad Djarin contemplates his life, Din is literally a dad in every sense of the word, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, Parallels, Post Season 2 Finale, angst with a dash of hope at the end, beginning to deal with an identity crisis, coping with loss, he's a hot mess but he's trying to find his footing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BB_Boule/pseuds/BB_Boule
Summary: This isn't possible, he thought, while the stars outside twinkled indifferently.Then there was a bundle at his shin. What felt like little arms pressed against him caused Din to snap his head in the direction of exactly who he knew it to be."Grogu?"
Relationships: Din Djarin & Grogu | Baby Yoda
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	You'll Help Me Find My Way

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't stop thinking about Din's headspace post finale so I ended up writing this. I love that space cowboy and his son so much. Here's my first, actually completed fanfic hope it's alright lol  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

As Din punched the course of his next destination into the ship's control board, he suddenly noticed a metallic ball in his peripheral vision. It caused him to freeze just as he was about to press the last few buttons to send the ship on its way. He turned in his seat to the right and found that it was real. It looked exactly like the thin lever on the Razor Crest, complete with Grogu's prized "toy" screwed on top of the end. He remembered pocketing the kid's ball but he hadn't taken it out since.

"How did.." Din whispered incredulously. He focused his eyes on the lever, searching for any indication that there was something different. From the lever his search spread to the surrounding buttons, to the panel he had been using seconds ago, and finally to the rest of the cockpit.

It was identical to the Razor Crest.

But the Razor Crest was on Tython, blown to ash and debris. Despite all the miraculous comebacks she managed to pull off after years of bounty hunting, Din knew his ship was gone for good.

Din stood up and even examined the pilot's chair. Everything was just as he remembered it. 

He turned to look out the window, bringing a hand up to rest on his helmet. This isn't possible, he thought, while the stars outside twinkled indifferently.

Then there was a bundle at his shin. What felt like little arms pressed against him caused Din to snap his head in the direction of exactly who he knew it to be.

"Grogu?" 

The child giggled in recognition of his name and looked up at Din with inquiring eyes. 

The Razor Crest was forgotten.

Grogu had just left to be with his own kind. Din had given him permission to. The feeling of his heart breaking into hundreds of pieces as he held Grogu for the last time made him certain of this reality. He had seen the Jedi carry him away, every step convincing him that it would never be whole again. Din held down his tears and put on the bravest face he could muster for the kid's sake. The sense of loss that flooded his being was the same he had felt as a boy when the Mandalorian carried him away. It was a truth too painful to be imagination. 

But the way that impossibly dense weight in Din's stomach dissolved at the sight of the child mewling at his leg made that reality irrelevant. 

"Hey, buddy," Din said while scooping Grogu up in his arms. The bright eyes trained on the helmet's visor had no way of seeing the growing smile on Din's face. 

"Today was a long day," Din told him. "It's bedtime for you."

With that he held Grogu against his chest and climbed down from the cockpit. All weariness left his body when he felt the being's little back against his palm. The wholeness that was restored to Din now that Grogu was back with him was all that mattered in the universe. Din could no longer follow the Way of the Mandalore since living beings had seen his face. He had been zealous in keeping the creed and found his life's meaning in it after losing his family. That part of himself was lost forever but with Grogu, his life gained a new purpose. It would be difficult to cast away an identity he had grown up in since boyhood but being Grogu's family gave him reason to not dwell on mourning it. All Din cared about was raising his child in peace. 

He laid Grogu down in the hammock above his sleeping quarters. Once his hands left him he scrambled to his feet before Din could stand up straight. Grogu waved a finger at Din and grunted as if to prove a point. 

"Alright ok," Din chuckled and raised his hands in defeat. "I should get some sleep too you're right."

Din climbed into the rectangular space and turned to settle on his side when he found Grogu right where he was about to lay his knee. The kid was fast and, true to his character, did what he wanted without seeking permission. Din laughed at the sight of him.

"You want down here?"

Grogu tilted his head and gurgled his response. 

"Fine by me," Din said, removing his helmet and gloves and tossing them into the empty hammock. "Come here, Grogu." 

Now Grogu could see the small grin on his father's face and the adoring eyes that observed him as he padded closer.

Din was surprised at how his love for the kid made slipping the helmet off feel so easy. Maybe because it meant seeing Grogu with his own eyes and knowing his natural voice was reaching his ears. Grogu grabbed a lock of Din's hair and made a happy babbling noise.

There's nothing separating us now, Din mused. 

"Ow!"

A sudden yank of his hair pushed all thoughts from Din's mind and Grogu's giggling filled the sleeping quarters.

"Hey don't do that," Din said, an eyebrow raised. Grogu stopped to look at him. "You wouldn't like it if I pulled on your ears would you?" 

He began tugging gently on Grogu's ears, alternating between the two and the giggling resumed, this time from Din as well. Tiny hands tried to grab Din's hand and caught a hold of his index finger as he slowed to a stop.

"Anyway we're supposed to be sleeping here, kid. Playtime can wait for later."

Din smiled at the sight of Grogu grasping his bare finger before pulling it away to switch off the daytime lights for the soft nighttime ones. Din got more comfortable on his side, Grogu following suit by settling into a sleeping position. Din brushed his thumb against Grogu's rosy cheek and ran his fingers across his ear. Grogu's eyes half-closed at the soothing motion and he cooed softly.

Din felt so relaxed, just as he had been in his mother's arms, dozing off under gentle fingers brushing his hair. Now it was his turn to be the parent and the feeling was just as sweet. This was the biggest surprise to him. Din Djarin and parenthood was an impossible match. It was so unnatural for a person like him, he had been so sure.

Yet life had proven that maybe Din didn't know himself as well as he thought.

He placed his hand on the cot between the two of them. He was already addicted to looking at Grogu without the visor.

 _My family_. The clan of two signet held true in his new life as much as it did in the old. 

"We'll look at the map tomorrow," Din whispered idly to Grogu. "Think about what kind of planet we want to live on and find some good paying work to make it happen. Maybe go back to Sorgan hm? Or at least a place like it. Some place where you have a lot of friends to play with. If not then we-" 

Grogu yawned and placed a hand on one of Din's knuckles. 

He had told the kid they needed to sleep and here he was, chatting away. 

I need to be a better role model, Din joked with himself, mirroring the yawn.

"Rest easy, kiddo." 

Din let his eyes close and immediately fell asleep.

Din blinked awake.

There was an empty space where the child had been lying just moments ago.

He sat up and looked around for any spot that Grogu could've nestled into.

"Grogu?"

His voice sounded low from having just woken up and... modulated. The vast emptiness spreading in his chest and reclaiming him forced tears to well up in the corners of his eyes. 

It was too dark but after turning on the thermal vision, Din only saw shades of blue surrounding his body. Grogu was gone. This wasn't the Razor Crest. He wasn't a true Mandalorian.

"A dream," Din said in the empty space.

In that moment, Din wished he could sleep the rest of his life away if it brought him the kind of peace that dream did. He never wanted to wake up if it meant having the grief and shame flood back and weigh him down like a curse.

Din had no idea how to go about shouldering this new burden of his. Not even 24 hours ago he had sealed his fate by sending Grogu back to his own kind and falling from the Way of the Mandalore. He was left with nothing; no ship, no creed, no family. Even the beskar armor he wore felt like it didn't belong to him. He was nothing but a lost orphan.

Din had to admit, it was an outcome he had inadvertently chosen. One single decision plotted out the rest of his life.

Going back for Grogu on that day was the only choice.

He would've never been able to bear living with himself had he abandoned that innocent child. The foundling within him had already made that decision when he instinctively shot the hunter droid after it pointed a blaster at the crib. Then the armorer told him the creed stated he was to be as the child's father until he was reunited with his own kind. Din steeled himself with this fact before exposing his face on the Imperial base. It was the only way to fulfill his given responsibility so surely it was an exception. A father would do so to rescue and protect his child. 

But it didn't warrant showing his face to the child.

Din knew it didn't as he held Grogu, giving him the permission he needed to be with his kind. His obligation as a father was met. Still, he couldn't shake the thought of seeing him with his own eyes. Of being seen by Grogu as the human who cared so deeply for him. Din's only choice had been to remove the helmet and Grogu's hand resting on the beskar reassured him it was right to do. He realized he felt like Grogu's father regardless of the creed.

And a child had the right to see his father's face. 

When Din felt Grogu's gentle touch, he knew that he had removed it for his own sake as well. It wasn't right for this bond to be faceless. Din remembered his parents' faces and the depth of love their expressions held for him that words couldn't communicate.

Grogu deserved to see that love one his father's face and Din had taken that last chance to show it. The words he had spoken immediately echoed in his head.

_I'll see you again... I promise._

Did he really believe it himself?

It was an empty lie spoken only to comfort Grogu if Din didn't.

Again, Din only had one choice to make. 

So amidst the ocean of hurt, Din clung onto that promise to keep his head from going under. He couldn't let the kid down by breaking it. He settled back onto the foreign cot and tried to still his racing thoughts. Bit by bit, he would piece together his life and survive to keep that promise. They were en route to Nevarro where the city was safe under Cara's leadership, Greef would help him find work, a new ship, and.. Din had to face the armorer. 

Shame dragged his heart back to the pit of his stomach. He had to face her if he was to start this new life. 

Din didn't know what happened to those who broke the creed. If he wanted to keep any honor he had left, he needed to face it. 

And he would survive it for Grogu's sake.

It was the only way now.

The Jedi suddenly came to mind. With his laser sword and powers he was able to destroy dozens of droids; meanwhile Din had struggled with one. Din imagined Grogu growing in his powers, the same as the Jedi's, learning how to take care of himself and protect others. He would one day be capable of saving him just as the Jedi did. Grogu needed the Jedi to come into his own and the Jedi was better suited to protect and raise him.

This string of thoughts started lulling him to sleep, tomorrow's worries unimportant. 

His kid. Growing up, getting stronger, having his own laser sword.

The days ahead were only leading up to seeing Grogu again.


End file.
